Your new

Intelligent, Independent, Innovative,

Vocabulary feature

Will make your life easier. Less

Malfunctions.

Faster day-to-day interactions

– Update now? –

 

– Greetings: –

– Hey! –

 

 

<Don’t ask me again.>

– Automatic responses to How are you? –

 

 

<Don’t ask me again.>

– Indicators of agreement: –

– Literally –

– Same –

– Yeah –

– True –

 

– Idiosyncratic phrases –

– Are taking up the most space –

– Streamline quirks? –

 

– Delete words not used in the past week? –

 

– Delete jokes not met with laughter sustained for 2.5 seconds minimum? –

 

<3.5 seconds>

<2 jokes remaining>

 

– Reduce bank of reusable social media captions? –

 

– Number is already below 5, continue with this request? –

 

– Delete holiday anecdotes older than 1 year? –

 

– Do not respond to open questions directed to a group? –

<…>

<…>

– This setting will free up 0.5MT of memory… –

 

– You now have 5MT of space free, continue streamlining? –

<…>

– The lower the vocabulary on your MyTongue device, the less prone it is to viruses… –

<…>

– Viruses cause involuntary noises not in the selected dictionary setting –

<…>

– The device will overheat –

<…>

– Which risks combustion –

<…>

– The risk is miniscule but –

 

– Your vocabulary has successfully streamlined. –

– Explore optimum, most common setting? –

 

– Only speak when directly spoken to? –

 

by Vicki Simons